Oh my. Oh my, my, my. First trip to the new gym (yeah, like I had an old gym) after work today for a swim. Did 600m (30 lengths) in 25 minutes in my own lane. I don’t think I was meant to have my own lane. In fact I think I contravened pretty much every rule in the Little Swimming Pool Book Of Etiquette, judging by the wry smiles exchanged by others when I left.
This is all due to the fact that I haven’t had my induction yet (am I going to be induced, like a pregnant woman…yeah I know the resemblance could lead a bleary-eyed junior doctor to make a mistake), that happens on Thursday.
So, let’s discuss pain. It’s mostly across my shoulders and neck, possibly due to my impossibly crap breast-stroke (fnar) technique. I’m sure my feet dragged the bottom a few times. And who’d have thought it was possible to sweat so much in a swimming pool? I’m sure I salinated that water more than is humanly possible. I pity the fool who took over in my lane, as they probably thought they’d made a wrong turn and ended up in the Dead Sea. By the way, is it even possible to contaminate just one lane like that, or would it be the whole pool? Whichever, the filters will be working overtime tonight.
And apart from the pain which is going to arrive with the inevitability of a Virgin train (you know it’s coming, but you’re never sure when it will get here), I appear to have a completely blocked right ear. No amount of head tilting or shaking will enable me to hear. Hopefully it’ll leak out in the small hours of the morning like an unpopular government policy.
So, the gym. It made me feel good for about an hour, but I know I’ll feel bad for longer. Sooner or later this balance will redress itself, but until then, I’ll be the fat bloke in his own lane sweating into your local pool. Do enjoy your swim.
i’ve got a handy fork that could sort your blocked ear… Just give me a shout